


To Dean

by spnsmile



Series: Hey Purgatory 2.0 [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Apologies, Apologizing Dean Winchester, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Has Anger Issues, Episode: s15e09 The Trap - Dean Winchester's Prayer Scene, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Purgatory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:21:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22304086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spnsmile/pseuds/spnsmile
Summary: Castiel's POV after deciding it's best to leave Dean
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Hey Purgatory 2.0 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1592020
Kudos: 38





	To Dean

He didn't want to leave him knocked out on the ground unprotected and vulnerable, but what choice did he have? One false move, one wrong action, any indication that he is willing to put his life on the line for the unconscious man would only make the enemies believe Dean can be used against him. And Dean is the perfect threat. Dean will always be his undoing. Put a blade on his neck and Castiel will endanger heaven and hell. But he can't be reckless like that. Not with shortage of time. Not with Dean unconscious. 

So choose he did, to keep his enemies away from Dean. He had to go and abandon Dean. He wished Dean would understand. 

He meant to pull this Purgatory page story short by putting his foot down everytime Dean did something without measured calculation. Every time Dean suggested something untactical. Every single time Dean would find an excuse to use another road, to separate, he put a leash on his companion to avoid unnecessary waste of time, avoid getting side tracked from the mission. Avoid getting hurt further. He knew the dangers of setting Dean in an environment full of monsters, filled with uncertainty and doubt, yet he couldn't leave the man on his own back the otherside without worrying Dean might just run head first towards Sam. Oh, he never doubted that. _Dean will_. And worrying for Dean while in Purgatory is counterproductive. So bully Dean he did. Not really.

He understood Dean is distracted and nowhere near a clear state of mind. So it surprised him that his insistence to go to Purgatory first managed to pull Dean back on what would have been a kamikaze mission. 

That Dean listened to him every step of the way not only meant trust, but that the man can't trust himself to do anything right at the moment. What brought it on, Cas can only guess. But Dean's explosive emotions always had to do something with it. He can't risk Dean to be that reckless.

It came without warning. He felt more than knew. Castiel looks behind him with that uneasy feeling tugging on his spine that he is leaving a piece of himself behind. 

Of course. Dean is back there. 

The intuition gets uneasy. 

He knows Dean has awoken. 

He notes the absence of being on guard of the monsters. It's probably because of his diminishing grace but they quietly walk in pile. Castiel figured they were listening while he and Dean debate about the blossom from the portal. 

It scared him that the monsters are functioning in groups, but his thoughts easily drifted to the lone man now wandering the field alone. It struck Castiel more now that they have been separated. That one thing he has been trying to avoid. 

Without Dean, he, Castiel, is as much vulnerable. More than Dean can understand. He began this journey with two things in mind: get the blossom, get with Dean back in the portal together. That hasn't changed. And no matter how others see it, he has been adamantly guiding and looking after Dean. He doesn't have the mind to stop doing so now. 

Dean is now awake and moving. He wished he could communicate with Dean but Dean has never prayed to him for months now. A spoil of war. But he strongly believes Dean can take care of himself, he is a hunter. Unsurprisingly, Castiel clings on the man's instincts not to derail from the mission. To go back. To meet each other because they will. But what of the Blossom?

He has to wait. He doesn't know what's happening to Dean. Castiel doesn't even worry about Eve. It's all one-man consuming him. 

_Dean. Blossom. Dean. Blossom._

The chant kept him level-headed for some hours. He listened to the conversation. He doesn't answer their mocking jeers. He calmly waits.

Then he hears it. A passing whisper of his name tentatively spoken, so soft and afraid. So sorely missed by his soul it cried at the first touch of the prayer. 

He freezes at the pain Dean is channeling. Rush of emotion so eye-widening it's alarming. Panic. He needs to go back to Dean. _No, wait!_ The soldier in him cannot fathom what his heart is telling him.

_Move_! 

A jab in the middle of his back and a demand to move. Castiel doesn't. His head snaps to the direction where his soul is being summoned, a name screamed back by his erratic heart. Castiel breaths the name in similar panic. 

_Dean_. He hears his prayer. Castiel momentarily reels back the other way, conscious mind pulling to run to him.

_To Dean_.

"Oi. He's crying." comes the leer. 

But Castiel is on the other side of the plane staring at the red plant rooted on some distance. The calm it sent is pure relief. 

He can go back to Dean now. He can meet him. To Dean. 

**Author's Note:**

> Moree from Purgatory 2.0! They left so much ❤ thank you!


End file.
